The Fifth Command – Being Taught that We may Teach

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Table of Contents

What is the fifth command?

כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ס

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you. (Exodus 20:12)

What holy thing is marked out by this command?

The fifth command points to the authority structures which God has placed in society as something sacred. Here is the complete list:

Command:	Principle:
First command: You shall have no other gods before Me.	The sanctity of God Himself
Second command: You shall not make for yourself an idol…	The sanctity of God’s worship
Third command: You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain	The sanctity of God’s Name
Fourth command: Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy	The sanctity of God’s day
Fifth command: Honor your father and your mother…	The sanctity of authority
Sixth command: You shall not murder.	The sanctity of human life
Seventh command: You shall not commit adultery.	The sanctity of the sexual relationship
Eighth command: You shall not steal.	The sanctity of private property
Ninth command: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.	The sanctity of truth
Tenth command: You shall not covet … anything that belongs to your neighbor.	The sanctity of our thoughts or inner contentment

Authority

What is authority?

Authority is the right to tell someone else what to do and to expect them to obey you.

What gives one person the right to expect another person to obey him?

No person has this right unless God gives it to him/her. We see the same question addressed to Moses:

He went out the next day, and behold, two Hebrews were fighting with each other; and he said to the offender, “Why are you striking your companion?” But he said, “Who made you a prince or a judge over us?” (Exodus 2:13-14)

Even these quarreling Hebrews know that authority is something that is given to another person. It is not inherent in anyone.

Is God the only one with inherent authority?

Yes, because He is the Creator, He has authority in and of Himself. No one gives it to Him. Notice this thought in Psalm 100:

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. (Psalm 100:1-3)

Notice that being one of God’s people is based on the fact that He has created us.

What if one is secular and does not believe in a deity?

Those who believe in God believe that all authority resides in God Himself since He is the Creator of all things. This means that since no person is God, no person has any authority of themselves. If one does not believe in the existence of God, then there is no reason to believe in this complete equality of human persons. The authority and power will belong to the strongest or whoever is carrying the gun.

No human person is God; and therefore, no human person has any authority of themself. Why then does the Bible teach that some people are in authority over others?

Because the Bible also teaches that God gives authority to certain people. We might call this divine delegating.

Explain this.

Consider Moses. The two men who were fighting asked him the same question we are considering. (Exodus 2:14) In the next chapter, however, we find that God Himself comes down in the burning bush and gives Moses authority:

“Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” And He said, “Certainly I will be with you, and this shall be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall worship God at this mountain.” (Exodus 3:10-12)

Note that when Moses questions his own authority, God resolves his doubts by assuring Moses that He was with him. This is what makes the difference; Moses knows that he has no authority in himself. It’s only God’s presence with Him that differentiates Moses from all the other Israelites. In the following verses, God goes further and reveals to Moses His special Name (Exodus 3:13-15) giving Him further assurance that his authority was not some kind of megalomania but really a divine bestowal.

What are the authority structures which God has set up?

God has given authority to four kinds of people:

parents,
husbands,
elders or church authority, and
governors or civil authority.

Now the fifth command is teaching us to treat these authority structures as holy.

Parents

Exodus 20:12

What is the authority God has given to parents?

This is the initial meaning of the fifth command where we are told to honor our parents.

What is meant here by “honor”?

The word honor means that we are to show respect to our parents by loving them, obeying them, and helping them when they are in need. This word is derived from the same word as is elsewhere translated glory as in the glory of YHWH. Consider this verse:

So Moses and Aaron said to all the sons of Israel, “At evening you will know that the LORD has brought you out of the land of Egypt; and in the morning you will see the glory of the LORD, for He hears your grumblings against the LORD; and what are we, that you grumble against us?” (Exodus 16:6-7)

The word glory in the expression “glory of YHWH” כְּבוֹד יְהוָה is the same word as the word honor here. It means to bring glory to, to respect, and to treat with reverence. It’s meaning can be better understood over against its opposite. Consider this from the repetition of the law in Deuteronomy:

Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen. (Deuteronomy 27:16)

This setting light or treating lightly is a disrespectful way of dealing with our parents. The command to honor means to treat them as heavy or weighty in the sense of worthy of honor and respect. Paul also make use of this concept when comparing the trials we experience on this earth with the coming glory. The one is light; the other is heavy.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, (2 Corinthians 4:17)

Why doesn’t God command us to love our parents? Why honor here?

The Bible does not give us an explicit answer on this. One possible reason is because God expects us to honor our parents even if they are evil and cruel. In this case, we may not love our parents in the sense of finding anything admirable or excellent in them. For all that, however, we can continue to honor them since we can respect and honor even those people who we do not love.

What can we say about the form of this word honor?

The form here is the infinitive absolute which is sometimes used to make a command; see §113bb (also in the fourth command).

What can be said about the reasonableness of this command?

Samuel Clarke writes (p683):

And here ’tis observable, that God is pleased to begin where nature itself does; requiring us in the first place to make just returns of honor and benevolence to those by whose care and tenderness we have been preserved and supported in the most helpless part of our lives. The extent of this and the like precepts, is indeed much enlarged by the gospel; wherein we are commanded to love all mankind, and to be ready to do good offices even to our enemies themselves. But this is evidently to be understood of that universal good will, which must of necessity be exercised in very different manners and proportions, according to the different circumstances and relations wherein different persons do hand to us; and alters nothing of that particular honor and regard, which we are here required to pay in the first place to our parents and benefactors.

How should we honor our parents?

Honoring our parents differs according to our age and place in life.

First, as young children we should obey them.
Second, as older children we should recognize their superior wisdom in life and defer to their leading and guidance. We should also patiently bear with their weaknesses and failings.
Third, as adult children we should continue to honor them by protecting them and providing for their needs as their bodies weaken. In addition, when our parents grow elderly and if their mind should begin to slip, we should bear with their often unguarded comments and actions knowing these are not made with their full reason.
Finally, we should respect our parents in their death by burying them with a Christian funeral and carrying out their wishes as previously expressed.

The following is a touching story (p285) of a young child’s obedience.

The commander of the ship-of-war Orient, before the battle of the Nile, placed his son, who was thirteen years of age, on certain duty and told him to stay at his post until his father should relieve him. Some time later, the father was struck and killed in the fighting. The boy stayed at his post in the midst of fearful carnage, unaware of what had happened to his father. While the sailors were deserting the burning and sinking ship, the young lad cried out repeatedly, “Father, may I go?” The permission did not come from his dead father’s lips; and there he stood alone, firm at his post, and perished in the flames.

The opposite example is provided by Ham who failed to cover his drunken father’s nakedness. (Genesis 9:22)

Do parents have any obligations towards their children?

They surely do. One of the reasons children deal lightly with their parents is because their parents dealt lightly with them. Parents should raise their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) They should not try in the first place to be their child’s friend but to form the child’s character into something that is God-honoring. They should have their children baptized and teach them their place in God’s covenant. Parents should bring them to the feet of Jesus. They should love, support and maintain them, attend to their religious and secular education, set before them a good example, keep them from the occasions of sin and correct their faults.

What would be the consequence if people lived on their own apart from families?

Children would have no protector and no one who cared for them in their most vulnerable yearts.

People would not be able to develop the kind of relationships that the human spirit craves and that have such a marked effect on our character. God created us to live in society, and almost all people desire intimate relationships with other people. God in His wisdom has provided for this in His perfect creation. Even secular studies bear this out as seen in this book.

How are we to understand the reason attached to this command “…that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.”?

This shows us that these commands were originally given in a specific context and to the nation of Israel. For Israel, this means that living a prosperous life in the land of Canaan is conditioned on their obedience to this command. Israel was finally thrown out of the land because of her disobedience to this command (Ezekiel 22:7) and all of God’s commands.

Does this clause have any meaning for us who have nothing to do with the land of Canaan?

This clause is further explained for us in Ephesians 6 where Paul writes that the fifth command is the first command with a promise attached to it. He then repeats this clause in v3, “…that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Ephesians 6:1-3; cf Deuteronomy 5:16) Clearly, Paul sees this promise as relevant for the Christians in Ephesus. The meaning is that many earthly blessings will come to those who honor their parents. This promise should not be absolutized as if every instance of obedience to this command results in earthly prosperity. On the contrary, it gives us a general principle. Kalisch notes (p365) that disobedience on the part of a child to his/her parents gives evidence that a serious moral or mental disorder exists which renders a long and happy life almost impossible.

Ephesians 6

Where else in Scripture are we commanded to honor our parents?

Paul repeats the fifth command in his letter to the Christians in Ephesus. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Why does Paul say that this is the first command with a promise?

This clause is difficult to understand. The most likely meaning is that in the list of commands given in Exodus 20, this is the first command that has a specific promise attached to it rewarding those who keep it with long life. Paul would have included this as another reason to give our most diligent attention to this command.

Where else do we find this command in Scripture?

There are many proverbs that speak to this command:

My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother; (Proverbs 6:20)
A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother. (Proverbs 10:1)
A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother. (Proverbs 15:20)
He who assaults his father and drives his mother away is a shameful and disgraceful son. (Proverbs 19:26)
He who curses his father or his mother, His lamp will go out in time of darkness. (Proverbs 20:20)
Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. (Proverbs 23:22)
Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you. (Proverbs 23:25)
He who robs his father or his mother And says, “It is not a transgression,” Is the companion of a man who destroys. (Proverbs 28:24)
Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, (Proverbs 31:28)

Solomon

What history does Scripture give us of Solomon’s treatment of his mother?

We read of Solomon’s obedience to the fifth command in the first book of Kings:

So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him for Adonijah. And the king arose to meet her, bowed before her, and sat on his throne; then he had a throne set for the king’s mother, and she sat on his right. (1Kings 2:19)

Here we see that Solomon gave his mother the position of honor, the throne position on his right.

Jesus

What can we learn from the way Jesus treated His mother?

When Jesus’ was shedding His blood on the cross of Calvary and in the midst of extreme pain and suffering, He noticed His mother and arranged for her care.

Therefore the soldiers did these things. But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” From that hour the disciple took her into his own household. (John 19:25-27)

We also read that Peter and John returned to their homes (John 20:10) after viewing the empty tomb. (John 20:8) Surely, John would have told Mary the good news upon his arrival home.

What else does Jesus teach us about the fourth command?

Jesus rebuked the pharisees and scribes for following traditions which ended up contradicting God’s law. He gives one example of this as it pertains to the fifth command.

He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. “For Moses said, ‘HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER’; and, ‘HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF FATHER OR MOTHER, IS TO BE PUT TO DEATH’; but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),’ you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that.” (Mark 7:9-13)

Explain what the situation Jesus describes here.

The situation Jesus describes here is that of an adult child who has elderly parents who need his support. Honoring his parents in this case means supporting them in their time of weakness and need. This child, however, is not able to support his parents because he has dedicated his money to the temple. He has pronounced his money corban which means dedicated to the temple. So the tradition of corban is now directly contradicting the fifth command which requires the son to honor his parents by providing for them in their old age. This Jesus condemns severely. See Edersheim p323.

Husbands

What authority has God given to husbands?

God has given the husband authority over his wife.

Where does the Bible teach this?

The Bible teaches this in those places where the husband is given a position of headship and in those places where the wife is commanded to submit to her husband’s leadership.

Where does the Bible give husbands a position of headship?

Paul teaches this in his letter to Ephesus and Corinth.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:2-3)

What does it mean when anyone is said to be the head of someone else?

This is a reference to authority. Just as the head rules the body, so the person who is called head rules others.

Where does God command wives to submit to their husband’s headship?

Paul writes to the church at Corinth:

The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says. If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church. (1 Corinthians 14:34-35)

Here we learn that a wife’s submission to her husband does not hinder her from asking questions or from educating herself as she has opportunity. Paul repeats this idea to Timothy:

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. (1 Timothy 2:11)

Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus:

Here we see the comprehensive nature “in everything” of a wife’s submission to her husband. We also see that a husband’s headship is patterned after the headship of Jesus to the church. This headship was a self-giving and sacrificing headship (John 10:11) which tells us how a husband ought to lead his wife. To the church in Colossae, Paul wrote:

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18)

Peter wrote to his disciples:

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (1 Peter 3:1-6)

Here we see that a wife’s submission can be a kind of gospel preaching where husbands can see it and be won to the cause of Christ.

May we conclude from this that God has given men authority over women?

No. This is not taught in the Bible.

Church Government

What authority has God given to the members of His church?

God has assigned elders authority to rule His people. For more on this, see our article on elders and church and state.

What duties do we owe to the church?

We owe the elders in our church respect and honor. Paul wrote to the Thessalonian church:

And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labor among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. And be at peace among yourselves. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13)

How much authority do church elders have?

They certainly do not have the power of the sword which God gives to civil rulers. The authority of elders extends no further than the word of God. No person, whatever office he may hold or to whatever credentials he may claim, has any authority, unless his teaching is consistent with Scripture.

What should we do when we disagree with the teaching of an elder or with a course of action they have decided to take?

We should first grade the importance of the disagreement. Does this point of disagreement pertain to an issue which compromises the very truth of the gospel or is it an issue of lesser importance? If it is of lesser importance, could we drop it entirely or work out some compromise in order to keep the peace? (Romans 12:18) If it is a gospel issue, then we should begin the steps of fraternal correction (Matt 18:15f).

Civil Government

What authority has God given to civil rulers?

God has given them the power of the sword.

Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. (Romans 13:1-4)

What is meant by the power of the sword?

This is the power of coercion or the power to force someone to do what they do not want to do. Obviously, the sword here is a symbol for capital punishment. God has given the governing authorities to punish people who do evil.

What are the duties of citizens toward their country?

All citizens must love their country, be sincerely interested in its welfare, and respect and obey its lawful authority.

How does a citizen show a sincere interest in his country’s welfare?

A citizen shows a sincere interest in his country’s welfare by voting honestly and without selfish motives, by paying just taxes, and by defending his country’s rights when necessary.